Friday's Signs of the Times

This feature will give you three must-clicks from the Sun-Times each morning. It will take, on average, four minutes to write:

Of all the headaches that come with riding the 'L', a so-called controversial ad campaign certainly ranks pretty low on the list.

Let's make sure we jinx this Cubs-White Sox thing.

Something tells me there's going to be lots of comments on this story.

Anyone want to see 'Beverly Hills Cop' after the game?

Just when you thought the author couldn't be more Cubs-centric today he points out that ESPN Page 2's Jonah Keri has an interesting piece grading out this year's National League on a scale from Ron Cey to Richie Hebner.

It's always a little sad to see a retired player's good name sullied by having it equated to the most dysfunctional team in baseball. Can't we just leave these guys alone already? More importantly, why rile up someone who looks like this?

Apparently Harry Caray broadcast the entire 1984 campaign from the right field bleachers with a beer in one hand and a giant fishing net in the other. Skeptical?

Hard-ly another start for Rich

Rise and shine Northsiders. Today is the coronation of the man on which the hopes of the most miserable franchise in sports rides as Rich Harden takes the hill at Wrigley Field. Get ready for everything to get blown way out of proportion based on one singular outing in mid-July.

Harden is 2-0 with a 0.84 ERA in his career against the limp-wristed San Francisco Giants and looks to continue his dominance against the National League. With the Cubs enjoying a 4.5 game lead in the NL Central, finishing the first half strong on the strength of the new golden boy would provide a nice boost going into the All-Star break.

Crews hope to do a grrrrrrrreat job destroying memories

As the demolition begins on the old Tiger Stadium the other author would like to extend his heartfelt sympathies to the author.

And before they go getting all stadium-is-older-than-thou on the rest of the league Cub fans should accept the fact that Wrigley Field will one day be torn down. Sadly, it will take a catastrophe -- perhaps an errant brick falling from the rafters onto the unsuspecting skull of an inebriated soul or some other spiteful act of a vengeful God.

The other author hopes this doesn't happen.

But the more the other author thinks about it, the more he realizes that baseball is probably pretty low on God's list of priorities.

As it should be. As it should be.

Tuesday on your TV

It's really not fair of Major League Baseball to ask the Cincinnati Reds to play against the National League All-Stars, but that Bud Selig is a man who gets what he wants. The author promises you'll find no better match-up between red-bearded starting pitchers. Why hasn't Aaron Harang-atang caught on as a nickname yet?

Tonight's Law & Order: SVU repeat: Engineer Merritt Rook (guest star Robin Williams) plays dangerous mind games with his followers putting Detective Benson's life at risk in SVU's 200th episode. Robin Willams could definitely be a cult leader. Who could resist that arm hair?

Sox' fate firmly in Yankee, Red Sox hands

Good morning Chicago. Both your baseball teams are in first place. And in nine short days they'll play a game at Yankee Stadium to decide who gets home-field advantage in the World Series. Or, if you've been downing Windy City Kool-Aid all summer: where you'll need to tailgate -- Wrigley or U.S. Cellular Field for Game 7 of the Fall Classic.

The starting lineups for that critical game in New York were announced today. Take a look. Notice anything?

Geovany Soto, Alfonso Soriano and Kosuke Fukudome were all voted in by the fans as NL starters. The White Sox? Well, they have nobody. That's four less starters than the Boston Red Sox have.

Look, the author understands that fans are going to be fans. They want to see all their hometown guys play in the All-Star game. But now that it means something, don't the fans have a responsibility to their teams to select the best players in the league. Especially in a season where home-field advantage is so pronounced. Why not reward the players who actually deserve to be there based on their performance to this point of the season? That seems like what a true fan of the game of baseball would do.

A perfect example of this is Josh Hamilton, the unequivocal best story of the season. But the author proposes that if you're going to punch your card for Hamilton, you must also vote for Carlos Quentin. And everyone else having monster years, regardless of how popular they've already become. These guys will give your team's league the best chance to win the pivotal game.

In the end, the soap box-standing author realizes this is a lost cause. Even though the game counts now, it's still basically treated as an exhibition. And he's witnessed people he respects punch straight ballots for their team of choice. Oh well. As long as these people don't get upset when their team loses a World Series game on the road.

Mr. Piniella respectfully disagrees with your judgment

The author vividly remembers the first American League playoff series featuring a wild card team. Ken Griffey, Jr.'s Seattle Mariners got the best of the pre-Jeter Yankees in Game 5 at the now deceased Kingdome. It may have even been on ABC. ABC used to show baseball. Now they show this.

The point is -- besides getting a chance to fondly remember Jay Buhner -- is that Lou Piniella was the skipper of that Mariner team. And he counteracted the laid-back, chill vibe of the Emerald City by periodically just losing his mind. He'd throw a base, kick dirt, kick his hat and just generally get in the face of any umpire he deemed fit.

With one well-documented exception, his tenure here in Chicago has been void of those tirades. But don't think old Lou has lost his fire or his willingness to fight for his team. That was evidenced by what happened tonight. When the dust settled Lou was ejected and the author's one-time favorite baseball player, bench coach Alan Trammell, assumed the coaching duties. So when a bang-bang call at first went against the Cubs, the former Tigers shortstop went out to argue and almost got tossed himself. What would have happened if he had got the heave-ho?

Several salty sports copy editors agreed pitching coach Larry Rothschild would be third in the coaching command. But is that written down somewhere? Is it in the media guide? Is there an organizational flow chart in the bullpen that someone would have pulled out and studied has we gotten down to the sixth- or seventh in command? These were all questions the author wondered to himself and is now posing here.

Sixth-grade civics taught us that there's a system in place for filling the president's role if he were to be killed or is under anesthetic during surgery or he just feels like taking a day off and hitting the links. It's been a long time, but the author thinks this is accurate. There's some weird choices on there when you get down the list. Under what horrid circumstances would the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development become the commander-in-chief of our armed forces? It sounds like a movie starring Will Smith as the underdog Cabinet member ascending to the nation's highest post in a time of great peril.

Oh, yeah. Trammell's Cubs lost by the way. Big surprise.

All Cubs, all Sox, all the time

Three down. Three to go. Please head on over to the Chicago Sun-Times today at 3 p.m. CST to join the author and fellow wise-cracker Kevin Allen for a live blogcast of today's Cubs-Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field. Here's a little sampling of what you can talk about around the water cooler while you wonder where Santa's going to outsource his labor to:

The White Sox can't win the season series with the Cubs, but maybe if they start winning Ozzie can enjoy his dinner in peace. Guillen explains: "I don't want to hear people talk about baseball as soon as the game is over, but you're in Chicago, you have to do that. I went to an Italian restaurant, they only know about soccer. All of a sudden, this guy comes up to me speaking in Italian about [one of the games last weekend]. I'm thinking, 'Oh, God, that's just what I need.' ''

One of Chicago's toughest critics says the Cubs have what it takes to break that oh-so-vexing hex that's been hanging over their heads for a century. And they seem to be taking the high road in the little war of words started last series.

This is pretty cool, but kind of renders all this weekend's silly baseball-playing a little pointless.

Afternoon delight

These are the kind of days that make the author happy his days off are in the middle of the work week. The afternoon sees the Tigers, Cubs and White Sox all in action as well as the second EURO 2008 semifinal. Seriously, lots of things are going to be resolved by dinner time. And thank God. Nobody likes to be tense when watching the 21 minutes of fury that is Season 3 of My Boys (TBS, 9:30 p.m. EST).

There's also this little matter.

Cubs not exactly keeping things uniform

The whole world, or at least the part of it outside of Europe, seems to have gone a little Cubs crazy lately. They've won 14 straight at Wrigley Field and are fresh off a sweep of the White Sox. Ryan Dempster is pitching like he's never seen this page and even Ozzie Guillen gushed about those ol' lovable losers lately.

Even with all this curse-breaking fever in the air, it's surprising to see ESPN's Paul Lukas devote an entire column on those seemingly "timeless" uniforms. While the author is no fashion expert like some former roommates, he feels smarter about the whole issue after reading this.

Is there anything on TV tonight?

God, Major League Baseball, or whomever you think is responsible for this, has graciously given us four days of rest before Cubs and Sox fans get all up in each other's faces again on the south side. Seriously guys, you all root for the Bears come autumn. Stop pretending you're so different and think up a strategy for finding a reliable quarterback or a running back who doesn't have to re-enact a scene from "40-Year-Old Virgin" every time he starts his car.

To fill that empty void without Chicago on Chicago action, ESPN2 is offering Game 1 of the College World Series. Tune in for White Sox' first-round pick Gordon Beckham. The Georgia Bulldog shortstop may look like he belongs on MTV's strangely compelling "Two-A-Days," but the kid can play. In fact Hawk, DJ and the Crew all pick him to click.

A case of the Mondays

If you're a White Sox fan in a predominantly Cubs-friendly office, then today is probably not going well. But once, you've sifted through the cute "your team sucks" e-mails, take solace in the fact that it's late June and your Pale Hose are leading a division they probably don't have any business leading. Besides, it could be worse.

And if you're one of those overly-giddy Northsiders peppering pro-Sox co-workers with catcalls, realize it's only late June and your Cubbies still have a long road of curse-reversing to do before you can die in peace.

That being said, this weekend at Wrigley was more lopsided than Placido Polanco's head. The Cubs unequivocally emerged as the better ballclub, Lou pressed the right buttons more often than Ozzie and Aramis Ramirez played like he'd never been a Pittsburgh Pirate at all.

For a fan base that falls head-over-heels for their team anytime they show any glimpse of brilliance, you understand why this incarnation of the Cubs is so appealing. That 100-year anniversary business just adds fuel to the fire and pictures like this only enflame the most sensitive of North Side sensibilities.

Sunday Crosstown roundup

As ESPN Page 2's DJ Gallo explains, the Cubs' bandwagon has never been more inviting. Just make sure you do it right. Further inquires should be directed eastward.

With the renewal of the crosstown rivalry this weekend comes the inevitable derision of the other team's fan base.

A.J Pierzynski doesn't much care for the Cubs fans.

I'll be blogging during the third game of the series at 7 tonight. Think of it as 97 percent play-by-play, 3 percent analysis.